“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” – C.S. Lewis
It’s been 10 years since Mother died. The old saying “the days are long, but the years are short” has never felt more real.
I tend to measure memories in chunks (for lack of a better word)….. Memories before and after high school. Memories during and after college. Memories before and after marriage and children. Memories based upon where we were teaching.
Memories before and after Mother died.
“If I was my Mother, I would tell myself” blog title was chosen 10 years ago because I couldn’t bear to think about my mother not pouring her advice, love, logic, and wisdom into my life. After 10 years, those ideas become more apparent and applicable than ever.
Darian and I are entering into our 23rd year of marriage. Will is in his first year of college. Charlotte is in the 7th grade. Most aspects of our lives are vastly different 10 years later, but there is something strangely unique about this March 16 anniversary.
The way I look at everything is so very different, however, the one thing that remains constant….. GOD’S LOVE towards us has never changed. Maybe having older children puts that into perspective even more. I have tried so hard to dissect and understand God’s love, but as the years pass, I am reminded that His love is constant… no matter our understanding or circumstance.
So what would my Mother tell me today? 10 years later? Here is what I imagine…
“Amy, you are doing the best you can.”
“Amy, you love so deeply. Maybe you should love yourself as much as you love others.”
“Amy, you’ve crossed bridges.”
“Amy, you’ve flown in airplanes.”
“Amy, you are using too much garlic when you cook.”
“Amy, water your flowers. They look sad.”
“Amy, don’t be lazy.”
“Amy, take Charlotte shopping. Warm weather is coming. She needs summer clothes.”
“Amy, throw it away. If you don’t use it, throw it away. Quit saving all of that stuff you never use.”
“Amy, use softener when you wash clothes.”
“Amy, take more stuff to the dry cleaner.”
“Amy, I don’t have all of the answers either.”
“Amy, I love you.”
“Amy, I love you.”
“Amy, I love you.”
If I Were My Mother, I'd Tell Myself... 