The Gift of Presence

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.   -Henri Nouwen

My post this weekend was planned very differently until the moment I started to write.  It seems as if the world stops and people question everything when there is news of senseless violence like we had yesterday in Connecticut.  I sat in the quiet of the morning and tried to think about what my Mother would say about such a horrific day like yesterday.  I was so sad because I could not think of what she would say about it.  Then I realized, she probably would not say anything.  She would just hold me close for however long I needed it.  I was always the one to pull away first.  I was always the one in a hurry to be somewhere else. Oh how I would give anything to be able to hug her once more without pulling away so quickly and being in a hurry to get somewhere else.

So many things I read from thoughts of friends emulate the same sentiment.  They held their children closer last night.  They watched them sleep and felt gratitude for their every breath.  I held Will for what seemed like hours in the kitchen before he left to spend the night at a friend’s house.  I wanted to explain to him why Mommy was being so weird about letting go.  I just couldn’t find the words to explain to a 9 year old what happened in a school just like his, and I sure had no words to explain why.  So I just held him until he finally pushed me away.

Maybe that’s what God does with us.  He knows we will never understand, so he just holds us close until we push him away.

May we all hold tight to the things we love, as well as our Savior, during such a time as this.

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