Grief. It is torture. There is no way for anyone to adequately prepare for it. It feels like some evil rite of passage. You know others have gone through the same thing you have, but you feel like you are so very alone in your journey because nobody else had YOUR mother. I am the only person in this world to have the privilege of calling her mine. I will forever draw strength from remembering how she endured the struggles of the last 3 years of her life. She is the epitome of what hope looks like, and I am so very proud to say I am her daughter.
She frequently said “don’t be lazy!” as I was growing up. She was definitely not a fan of sitting around and not doing anything. She was always up and getting things done for us, as well as other people. If someone needed anything, Judy King was the person to call. And if Mother couldn’t do it for you, she knew exactly who to call to get it done. I think about that a lot trying to get through this grief process. I often think about how she would handle it. There are a lot of things I am sure she would do to cope, but sitting around is definitely not one of them.
Grief can paralyze me some days. It is a constant struggle to open my eyes and get the day started knowing she is not here. The gentle nudge of God pushes me out of bed and gets me going…I know that. However, I do believe he uses my Mother’s memory and her voice in my head to say “don’t be lazy! Get up. Take care of your family. Take care of yourself. You can do this.”
“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13